So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?