I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
