I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
