Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
