Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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