I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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