There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
