I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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