why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
