What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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