I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Fuck appropriateness.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
