dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Your tits are I can't wait for
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Your penis caused this!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
