Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
