She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
