The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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