Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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