Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
