I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I currently don't understand fingers.
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