She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
