But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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