HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
