people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
