I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
