Do you still have your period?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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