Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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