Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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