just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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