There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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