i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
