I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize