Im at strip club and am horny
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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