Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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