But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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