I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
