She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He did a backflip because drugs
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
