I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
