I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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