I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
