I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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