how hairy? two words: wookie tits
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
