I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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