Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
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He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
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well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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