I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
