Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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