oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
