id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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