I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize