hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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