Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize