Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize