even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
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For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science