the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.