Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
