Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize