She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
