Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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