Cold hands, warm shart.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize