69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
