I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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