Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
